TodayCoach Newsletter

June 2004

in this issue

The Great Outdoors
Rules! We don't need no stinking rules.
Fun with Rules:
Modeling, Modeling, Modeling
Question of the Month

The Great Outdoors

I have realized recently that I've been spending a bit too much time indoors and in the city. As a result, I've decided to explore hiking and possibly kayaking this summer. This may come as a shock to many of you who know me. Time for something new. I'll keep you posted.

Quick Links...

Greetings!

Hello All!,

Welcome to our new subscribers. Unfortunately I didn't make the first this month, but I'm getting closer.

It's been a very busy and exciting month for me. I have several new projects in the works. I'll be sending out a notice as these come to completion.

I really appreciate the fact that many of you have been spreading the word about my newsletter. If you know anyone who you think will benefit from this, please hit forward at the bottom and they can recieve a copy.

Let get to it.

Enjoy!,

Rob

Rules! We don't need no stinking rules.

One day when I was in my 20's I went over a buddy's house to play music in his studio. He let several of his friends use this whenever we wanted to. This was great. He had recording equipment. There were a bunch of different guitars and a drum set. We would always have a great time there making recordings.

When I got there, one of the other people who lived there was using the studio. He was also a buddy of mine. He was in a bad mood that day for some reason. He asked me what I was doing there. He said that I wasn't allowed to use the studio and that he would be using all the time from then on. I didn't know what was going on. I left, but I was very insulted and my feelings were hurt. I was especially upset that someone I liked had been cross with me. After that day, we didn't talk too much, and then fell out of touch.

I didn't realize it at the time, but he had violated one of the rules that I had about relationships. My friends were not to be cross with me, period. It's not a surprise to me that we didn't stay in touch after that. If you violated my rules, you were out.

We all have rules in our life. These are guidelines or instructions about what is good or bad, and how to proceed in a particular situation. Some are great, and some are quite limiting. We have rules about relationships, work, things we're interest in and just about everything we do. Like anything, it's good to take an inventory from time to time and see which rules are serving us, and which are holding us back.

Looking back at this situation with my buddy, I would rather have ditched the rule instead of ditching my friend. I like rules that bring me closer to people. My rule back then was that friends can't be cross with me. My rule now is that friends can get past difficult moments.

Fun with Rules:

Here are a few examples of rules:

'I'll be nice to this person if they're nice to me.'

'Do unto others as you would have other do unto you.' Some people prefer. 'An eye for an eye.'

People also have rules about the things they do. 'I only do things that I'm good at.' or 'I love exploring things that are new.' One of them opens possibility, the other closes down possibilities.

1. Take inventory:

This month, make a list of any rules that you have running in your life. Notice rules in several different areas like work, relationship and activities.

2. Evaluate your rules:

Take a look at your list and see which rules are serving you and which are limiting you in some way. If a rule is limiting, sketch out an alternate that you could replace it with.

'I only do things that I'm good at,' can change into something like 'I can learn to be good at just about anything I focus on,' or 'I do things that I enjoy regardless of how good I am at them.'

3. Road Test:

Take your modified rules out for a test drive this month. Pick one rule at a time and see what it's like to live from that rule. How do you like it? Does it increase your choices? If you don't like it, modify it again until it's just right.

Modeling, Modeling, Modeling

My modeling projects are moving along nicely. After modeling my buddy Frederic Stell(See Links) about how he thinks of and executes building projects, I came home and built myself some new shelves. This isn't something that I would usually do,so it comes as a nice surprise. Thanks Frederic!

I've also been modeling my colleague Drew Rozell(See Links). Drew is an awesome coach who has a wonderful quality of being exceptionally comfortable in his own skin. We've been creating a model from this that is just great.

I've been continuing to ask people the magic question. 'If you could model anything, what would you pick?' The answers are incredibly divers. Here are a few examples:

How to be kind in the face of difficulty.

How to exercise consistantly.

How to close sales.

I would appreciate any more suggestions. Feel free to shoot me an email with any of your desired skills, abilities and qualities.